I have been trying, desperately, since the last weekend of august, to just let go and cry and scream and kick and have emotion. I have been waiting, trying, getting nothing. Something is wrong inside me.
people say I have changes this year from last year. I think they are right, im just trying to figure out which me is better, and which me is real. I don't see the point of things right now. everything seems so trivial. I feel like this entire semester has had a fog over it, been surreal.
I dont even know what I am talking about, I don't like talking about real things. Real things are too confusing.
I know this. I value relationships: friends, family. And I value being a good person, whatever that means on a personal level gets ambiguous. But thats it. Im not sure of anything else I value unconditionally. I find it is hard to keep up a relationship with people who have different values from me.