I have many faults. One in particular, I am always afraid of looking stupid. Which is so stupid in itself. i am afraid of doing something stupid, attempting something that by failing will make me look stupid, talking to people who don't want to talk to me, in case they judge me. thinking people like me, in case they dont. letting people get to me, because then it is proof i liked them and they didn't reciprocate the love. then I just feel stupid. so i let things blow off, continue as normal, and die inside. Maybe thats also why I relish attention. i love it when someone unexpected shows interest in me, but i don't loose myself to them. Maybe temporarily, but I have to be able to brush them off when it ends. i have to.
i want to find someone who loves me, who i can love, who i can just know, this is it, this is the guy im going to live happily ever after and grow old with. im not patient.
P.S. I want I'll Be There by Jackson 5 to play at my Wedding. Maybe father daughter dance?
