Saturday, August 13, 2011

a long time later...

its been forever, i will be a little rusty.
im going to write, and not delete anything.

the things that have been occurring:

We had 3 fish, they died suddenly and all within 24 hours. i'm suspecting the culprit resides inside the new fish food my sister just bought. She was sad at first, as the only person who actually became attached to the rather taciturn pets.  When I told friends of the news, most laughed. I am not sure why fish get such a bad rap.

I move back in to school in a week and a half. I can not wait to get out of here, but I am a little apprehensive as to how the year will unfold.

I made a new friend at football practice. A mother, 2 boys. I like our conversations so much that I stay sometimes half an hour past what is asked of me. I find her fascinating, and she takes real interest in me.

I wish certain people would stop putting so much pressure on me. And then, I wish some people would put more. I don't know how to handle this predicament.

Queen was wrong. There are plenty people to love. We dont need somebody to love, we need somebody to love us. But i tried, and, the melody doesn't work as well.

i want it to all be easy.  i want to fast forward, and just glimpse that it all works out.  when will time travel finally be invented?

i wish i knew what i wanted to do with my life, and how to achieve it. but i dont, much to many peoples dismay.

sometimes, and i do not intend to frighten or scare as this is all figurative, i want to take a knife and slice myself open to my core, and let all the emotions and thoughts out to roam free. They've been hidden inside for too long, they are screaming to feel the sun, see the world. But then I remember that that is impossible, and I stitch myself up, suppress the screams with a lock and throw away the key. its not important anyway. this isnt referring to anything specific. never mind, forget I said that.

i listen to songs, country songs in particular and pretend they are about my life. 3 minutes of happiness each.

the fish are dead and nobody cares

help me

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