i know its been a while.. like over 2 months. i am sorry, but i have an excuse. I was given a journal over winter break, and i had been writing in there about my, o, so fascinating life. but I have realized that I must keep up both forms of expression as we are indeed in a digital age, and everything that is anything must happen vie electronics. But, in a desperate crusade to save the print age, I will write in my little notebook as well. two of anything is better then one :)
now let the ranting commence!
So i have a new roommate. She is like 4'11", bright blonde hair, a cheerleader, very hyper. I like her.. she is easy to live with and very sweet. BUT she seems to go through weird phases.. one minute she is non stop chatter about something very personal that I am not allowed to tell anyone (okay, i just met you?), and then two minutes later she is asleep. like, i dont know whether to talk or not because one minute she is sleeping the next she is not. i just don't understand. but i do like her. Maria likes her too. i think that makes things better.
speaking of maria.. she wanted to room with me next year, but I want to do something different. I actually have a good friend who i want to room with and all, and she agreed, but there is a chance she will transfer next year.. :/ i dont know what to do, i guess eventually all will work itself out!
i am pledging a fraternity! i know.. you want to say "you mean sorority" but no, its a coed frat. Alpha Phi Omega is a service frat, and notable alumni include both clintons, Michelle Obama, Bush number 1, and several other presidents,.. ya. So im thinking of walking up to the white house, knocking on the door and being like brother michelle (yes we are all brothers, regardless of actual gender)! the secret service wouldnt take out one of her brothers would they???
i am so excited to be going to honduras! im kind of nervous... but overall stoked. i just cant wait to experience another culture and rough it a bit. im going to be digging ditches and stuff, idk if i can even do that. I am not exactly strong. i like to pretend i am all muscle.. but no.
so... last night i brought THE BOY back home to vienna for dinner with the family. that was interesting.. i think they like him better then me. my mom went slightly over the top.. bringing out the nice plates and setting the dinning room table. i think i was more nervous then anyone else, but not cause they wouldnt like him.. more because they would all get together and embarrass me... actually i don't know why i was nervous. i already new my family liked him. whatever.. i like him a lot and thats what matters.. i like having a boyfriend.. why did i wait so long? i should have had boyfriends all through high school goddamnit!
i like country music more then ever. just saying.
in APO, we have to interview the brotehrs, and we need a signature question. mine is: what song do you wish described your life? my answer is Girl All The Bad Guys Want by Bowling for Soup. Is that weird? no..
every day my room gets messier and i get angrier. damnnn. everyday i study less and the pile of books next to my bed grows.
i love , after checking the mail out of habit every day, i get a letter at the end of the week <3 it makes my checking worthwhile.
guilty pleasure: reading postsecret every sunday. also, looking up top 40 songs from the 90's and early 2000's, and finding old loves, then downloading them from mediafire. WEEZY
im grossed out by the amount of hair on the floor of my room. its repulsive. but ill vacuum later. i'm busy now..
i want to go to the butterfly gardens so badly.
i dont really like nutella.. its too weird for me.
my mom made noodle pudding for me!!!!!
i could eat a bowl of cinnamon toast crunch and milk for every meal for the rest of my life.
i dont understand.. taking the stairs to the 6th floor is supposed to get easier.
new orleans= the best. i want to go back right now. like, right now.
i can not wait to see my friends.. home friends. i dont like beign so far away from them. some i will see over spring break NEXT WEEK but too many will have to wait till summer. fkkkkk
this is my train of thought.. o god.
i promise to write more often. peace out.
and listen to It Wasn't Me by weezy.
-we were both butt naked banging on the bathroom floor-
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
confunded
i am so confused. i dont know which way is up anymore. everything i thought was set is not.
what is real life? im living two lives right now. college and home. neither seem real.
since when did going to bed at 2am mean going to bed early?
my brain hurts. i feel like there is so much i don't understand.
why are you talking to me now?
i think i want you to stop.
who are you?
i love you.
enough of my rambling nonsense. i just dont know anymore.
what is real life? im living two lives right now. college and home. neither seem real.
since when did going to bed at 2am mean going to bed early?
my brain hurts. i feel like there is so much i don't understand.
why are you talking to me now?
i think i want you to stop.
who are you?
i love you.
enough of my rambling nonsense. i just dont know anymore.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
today i made the analogy that my brain is like a murky swamp whirl pool filled with fish.
this is my third consecutive night being awake and on the Vern past 3 am with no intention of leaving anytime soon.
i often find that when i am listening to a song i pretend my life is like the one being sung about. this leads to interesting lifestyle arrangement when i put my ipod on shuffle.
while i am totally stressed out about classes and finals, i think i am handling it well and am generally in an optimistic mood. things in life aren't half bad.
i need to post more often. sorry you all, ill get better.
should i be a house proctor next year? i cant decide.
i should go back to trying to study.
live. love. laugh. peace.
this is my third consecutive night being awake and on the Vern past 3 am with no intention of leaving anytime soon.
i often find that when i am listening to a song i pretend my life is like the one being sung about. this leads to interesting lifestyle arrangement when i put my ipod on shuffle.
while i am totally stressed out about classes and finals, i think i am handling it well and am generally in an optimistic mood. things in life aren't half bad.
i need to post more often. sorry you all, ill get better.
should i be a house proctor next year? i cant decide.
i should go back to trying to study.
live. love. laugh. peace.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
humans are good
i find that i love rain. but only on my terms. right now it is crazy raining. like torrential downpour. i actually wouldn't mind this, but now i dont want to walk to my next class. i like this kind of rain when i can go out and enjoy it and dance in it. i don't like sitting through class where i am soaked through my underwear. so i sing
rain rain go away come a gain another day
i find i am making excuses, subconsciously, to see my parents. i dont know how i could have forgotten so many things at home otherwise. I feel like every week i have to meet up with either my mom or my dad to have them bring me something i forgot.
speaking about me being careless and forgetful...
i feel like this is the most embarrassing story ever, but since i am only writing to my blog constituents, and that only consists of two people, its okay.
on saturday, i get back to my dorm after eating lunch on the Vern, and i realize i have lost my gworld/room key. they were on a keychain together. so then i trek all the way back to the Vern. and the bus was all screwed up, so it took about an hour and a half instead of hte usual 15 minutes. i get there, search absolutely everywhere. like literally, i was looking under every rock and behind every tree. what do you know, i can't find it. So in the midst of my freaking out, i go, cancel the gworld (it has a lot of money on it), and cry a little.
quickly i get over it, and i go get ready to go out for the night. i tell you, it was a FUN night. anyways i wake up the next morning, reach into my purse, and realize something is missing. My metro card, license, and debit card are missing. Now let me make it clear that this group of lost items is completely unrelated to the first. i had these while i was looking for the first set. Now let me ask any reasonable person: how the hell does someone lose all of their most valuable possessions in one day, in unrelated events?
so sunday morning i was sitting in my room with absolutely no form of identification, and absolutely no money.
not to worry, mommy and daddy came and took my to lunch (perks of being close!) and gave me some cash, and helped me cancel my cards.
then monday afternoon, i stop by the UPD office, and sure enough, good Samaritans out there had turned in all of my belongings!
o happy day! my life is not over!
the sun shone brighter, the clouds fluffier, the sky bluer.
i walked back home from the upd building with a giant smile plastered on my face.
i have a new respect for humankind. some of them do look out for others and do the right thing. thank you anonymous good people!
rain rain go away come a gain another day
i find i am making excuses, subconsciously, to see my parents. i dont know how i could have forgotten so many things at home otherwise. I feel like every week i have to meet up with either my mom or my dad to have them bring me something i forgot.
speaking about me being careless and forgetful...
i feel like this is the most embarrassing story ever, but since i am only writing to my blog constituents, and that only consists of two people, its okay.
on saturday, i get back to my dorm after eating lunch on the Vern, and i realize i have lost my gworld/room key. they were on a keychain together. so then i trek all the way back to the Vern. and the bus was all screwed up, so it took about an hour and a half instead of hte usual 15 minutes. i get there, search absolutely everywhere. like literally, i was looking under every rock and behind every tree. what do you know, i can't find it. So in the midst of my freaking out, i go, cancel the gworld (it has a lot of money on it), and cry a little.
quickly i get over it, and i go get ready to go out for the night. i tell you, it was a FUN night. anyways i wake up the next morning, reach into my purse, and realize something is missing. My metro card, license, and debit card are missing. Now let me make it clear that this group of lost items is completely unrelated to the first. i had these while i was looking for the first set. Now let me ask any reasonable person: how the hell does someone lose all of their most valuable possessions in one day, in unrelated events?
so sunday morning i was sitting in my room with absolutely no form of identification, and absolutely no money.
not to worry, mommy and daddy came and took my to lunch (perks of being close!) and gave me some cash, and helped me cancel my cards.
then monday afternoon, i stop by the UPD office, and sure enough, good Samaritans out there had turned in all of my belongings!
o happy day! my life is not over!
the sun shone brighter, the clouds fluffier, the sky bluer.
i walked back home from the upd building with a giant smile plastered on my face.
i have a new respect for humankind. some of them do look out for others and do the right thing. thank you anonymous good people!
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
america's got NO talent
is it possible to have no talent? because i don't. while i would love to be good at something, the fact that i am talentless does not phase me too much. my not caring that i am essentially a failure is probably what worries me more...
but seriously, what am i good at?
first possibility: sports.
i am the most unathletic person in the history of the planet. i have no hand-eye coordination, no strength, no speed, no drive. i can't jump high, or be flexible. i can't balance and i can't be aggressive.
i took ballet so i could wear the tutu
on the soccer field i picked daisies and put them in my hair
i took jazz to be with my friends
in basketball i hid behind the person guarding me
in softball i just didnt swing and prayed for balls
field hockey was probably my best sport... but unfortunately that didnt last long.
in middle school we had to run the mile every week. my time in the beginning of 7th grade was approximately an 11 minute mile. my time by the end of 8th grade was 15 minute. thats not right. thats not normal. the idea is improvement. luckily, after having a break over the summer, i was able to get it back to UNDER 10 in 9th grade.
okay, so sports are not my thing. i think im allergic to athletic activity, actually. my ears pound, my body goes numb, my head hurts, and i cramp up. sports should be shunned.
alright, so maybe i should try music. i love listening to the radio, and drumming out the beats to my favorite song. i am tone deaf though, i should probably add.
4th grade i started the violin. i played until 7th grade, and faked my practice sheets every week.
7th grade my mom took me to a private lesson, and the mean man yelled at me and told my mother i didn't know how to read notes. after 4 years.
then i tried piano. i just memorized the songs an what keys to press when. apparently that doesnt count as playing though.
in 6th grade i was the only one in my class whose name wasnt on the 6th grade chorus list. Mrs. Quarrels just told me it was an accident... right.
last week i was rocking out to the radio with my best friend, and she told me to just stop.
i know my voice is bad, but... i mean... not THAT bad.... right? wrong. my family and friends only laugh.
no american idol for me. i am destined for really drunk karaoke. if that.
okay im not going to go through every possible talent out there. but i think you get the point. im not artistic or inventive. Im not creative or especially intelligent. im not good at languages, and i am not very funny. and obviously, i have not musical or athletic capabilities. it would be nice to be good at something. but im not too angry about it.
but seriously, what am i good at?
first possibility: sports.
i am the most unathletic person in the history of the planet. i have no hand-eye coordination, no strength, no speed, no drive. i can't jump high, or be flexible. i can't balance and i can't be aggressive.
i took ballet so i could wear the tutu
on the soccer field i picked daisies and put them in my hair
i took jazz to be with my friends
in basketball i hid behind the person guarding me
in softball i just didnt swing and prayed for balls
field hockey was probably my best sport... but unfortunately that didnt last long.
in middle school we had to run the mile every week. my time in the beginning of 7th grade was approximately an 11 minute mile. my time by the end of 8th grade was 15 minute. thats not right. thats not normal. the idea is improvement. luckily, after having a break over the summer, i was able to get it back to UNDER 10 in 9th grade.
okay, so sports are not my thing. i think im allergic to athletic activity, actually. my ears pound, my body goes numb, my head hurts, and i cramp up. sports should be shunned.
alright, so maybe i should try music. i love listening to the radio, and drumming out the beats to my favorite song. i am tone deaf though, i should probably add.
4th grade i started the violin. i played until 7th grade, and faked my practice sheets every week.
7th grade my mom took me to a private lesson, and the mean man yelled at me and told my mother i didn't know how to read notes. after 4 years.
then i tried piano. i just memorized the songs an what keys to press when. apparently that doesnt count as playing though.
in 6th grade i was the only one in my class whose name wasnt on the 6th grade chorus list. Mrs. Quarrels just told me it was an accident... right.
last week i was rocking out to the radio with my best friend, and she told me to just stop.
i know my voice is bad, but... i mean... not THAT bad.... right? wrong. my family and friends only laugh.
no american idol for me. i am destined for really drunk karaoke. if that.
okay im not going to go through every possible talent out there. but i think you get the point. im not artistic or inventive. Im not creative or especially intelligent. im not good at languages, and i am not very funny. and obviously, i have not musical or athletic capabilities. it would be nice to be good at something. but im not too angry about it.
Monday, October 18, 2010
every day
let me tell you about my life
every day ( during the week):
i wake up, begrudgingly, early
i go to starbucks and get a tall iced carmel machiato with skim milk and a classic coffee cake
i got to class, and sometimes nap
i sometimes get lunch with anthony
i go to the rest of my classes
i get a cookie
i go on facebook- this takes up approximately 75% of the day
i get another cookie
i eat dinner- sometimes just peanut butter and more cookies. sometimes pasta.
i attempt to do some homework
i call/skype/facebook chat a friend/family member
i make nachos with stale chips that are blue
i watch an obscene number of youtube videos
i watch an tv show that i watch on the given night
i kick myself for being unproductive
i try for some more homework
i do sit ups because i had to many cookies today
i make more nachos because CORNchips and cheese are good for you
i eat a cookie, realize it was the last one, and i make more with one of my roommates. (not the witch)
i watch the witch get mad because we almost used her eggs to make the cookies
i watch the witch eat one of the cookies we made with our eggs
i let the witch step on me
i eat a cookie
i vent on facebook chat about the witch
i try for more homework, end up with more youtube
sometimes i go to the Vern
sometimes i dont come back
i go to be circa 3am
then repeat.
every day ( during the week):
i wake up, begrudgingly, early
i go to starbucks and get a tall iced carmel machiato with skim milk and a classic coffee cake
i got to class, and sometimes nap
i sometimes get lunch with anthony
i go to the rest of my classes
i get a cookie
i go on facebook- this takes up approximately 75% of the day
i get another cookie
i eat dinner- sometimes just peanut butter and more cookies. sometimes pasta.
i attempt to do some homework
i call/skype/facebook chat a friend/family member
i make nachos with stale chips that are blue
i watch an obscene number of youtube videos
i watch an tv show that i watch on the given night
i kick myself for being unproductive
i try for some more homework
i do sit ups because i had to many cookies today
i make more nachos because CORNchips and cheese are good for you
i eat a cookie, realize it was the last one, and i make more with one of my roommates. (not the witch)
i watch the witch get mad because we almost used her eggs to make the cookies
i watch the witch eat one of the cookies we made with our eggs
i let the witch step on me
i eat a cookie
i vent on facebook chat about the witch
i try for more homework, end up with more youtube
sometimes i go to the Vern
sometimes i dont come back
i go to be circa 3am
then repeat.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
no one ever taught me how to survive
i don't think i am doing it right. college. i am not having a bad time. I just don't think i am going at it the right way.
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